Stay No Contact!!!

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They’ll screw you over and will not apologize for it.  It’ll be the last straw and you’ll go no contact.  Several months later they’ll hit you up and act like nothing happened.

There are 3 things you can do:

1) let bygones be bygones.  BUT.  they will only end up screwing you over again, continuing their abuse.

2) tell them NO.  You remind them of what they did to you and tell them you want nothing to do with them and their toxicity.  BUT.  They will only miminize what they did to you and call you erratic or irrational, either making you more angry or making you doubt your thoughts.

3) DO NOT RESPOND TO THEIR TEXTS, PHONE CALLS, ETC.

I highly recommend #3.  These people do not change.

Giving Advice To Narc 2: Blame Yourself

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“Yeah I cheated on her; but she didn’t have to break up with me for it.  Whatever happened to working things out?”  – narcissist friend

Wouldn’t take responsibility for cheating on his girlfriend, claiming she was acting irrational for leaving him and not wanting to work things out.  Instead of blaming himself, he turned it around on her.  It wasn’t his fault they broke up, it was hers…

Giving Advice To Narc 1: Always Hurting

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I’ve had a similar conversation with a narc family member.  He was always hurting.  Firmly believes doctors are money greedy swindlers who do nothing for you and don’t even know what they are doing.  Everyday he’d complain about his countless ailments, unwilling to do anything to make them better.

Would exaggerate his ailments especially when I was suffering from a real problem.  I had a cold one time and I told him.  A few hours later he said he was coming down with the flu, said he caught it from my cold (so it was my fault…), sent me to the store (while I’m sick) to get HIM some Nyquil.  He never opened the bottle and was fine the next day.  Speedy recovery from the flu…

I believe he wasn’t suffering from anything.  He wanted attention.  Completely ignored any advice to cure his ailments so that he could constantly soak up the attention, creating dumb and ridiculous reasons as to why our advisements wouldn’t work.

Stop Your Whining

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This doesn’t really have anything to do with narcissism.  It’s more about how serious people in well-to-do countries are when it comes to non-serious things. 
A couple days ago my grandfather became furious at me for no good reason.  I was cooking a frozen pizza when he came downstairs to the kitchen.  The pizza was already in the oven when I looked over at him; he was giving me a confused look.

“What’s wrong,” I asked him.
“What are you doing?”
“Cooking a pizza,” I replied.
“Did you take the pots and pans out of the oven?” He asked.
“Of course I did,” I answered, smiling at him nicely.
“Well I don’t f***ing know!” He screamed, his rage going from 0-10 out of nowhere.
“How else would I would be able to put the pizza in the oven if there are pots and pans in there?” I asked.
“I don’t f***ing know!” He screamed again.  “I asked you a simple f***ing question; I don’t expect any talk back from you!”
“Talk back?  I answered your question.”
“Yeah, with a f***ing attitude!”
“What attitude?” I asked.  “I smiled at you.”
“No you didnt!”  He screamed, an evil look on his face.
“Why are you so angry over nothing?”
“You talked back to me!!!”

I was so enraged by his rage that I just walked away.  It was so random and I wasn’t going to stand there and let him lie to me, changing the story up to make me look like an a-hole.  I’ve been in that situation and the only way it was going to end was me trying to explain what actually happened all the while they add more lies and change the story up even more until I can’t keep up.

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People get angry and cry over the stupidest things.  I get angry too of course, but I ask myself: is this something to get mad over?  I think about all the people struggling in the world and immediately I’m not angry anymore.  Most of us in these great countries are so fortunate, yet most of us still complain about small things, all the while people in impoverished countries are struggling.  It’s truly ridiculous.